I'll begin with "Arsenal forward close to exit," by some shithouse site called Soccervoice. Normally I'd post links, but becasue they're devoid of any meaningful content I'm not going to bother. Predictably, this non-story, which contains no quotes (although they do credit the BBC before spinning it beyond all recognition) refers to Nicklas Bendtner's quotes from several days ago in which he clearly said that if he doesn't make it into the Arsenal first team he will consider leaving. A figure of two years was mentioned by the player himself. Is he "close to an exit?" Yes, he probably is twice a day, before and after training. Fuck off Soccervoice.
Several tosspieces have linked us with Lyon midfielder Hatem Ben Arfa on the irrefutable evidence that he ticks three vital boxes: he's French, he scored for France and ARSENE WENGER WATCHED HIM ON SATURDAY. Well, there we go then. Why else would Wenger be there? I mean it's not like he ever shows any interest in his national side, nor does he ever do any punditry for the French media. Oh, wait a minute, he does. Fuck off.
Tribalfootball, basically the site that collects the flies that clamour around shit and then releases them back in your face, offered shattering insight into Augusto Fernandez's impending transfer to Arsenal from River Plate with this quite remarkable story:
"Fernandez has been likened to Barcelona's Argentine star Lionel Messi and has impressed Gunners boss Arsene Wenger."
That was it, seriously. Fuck off Tribalfootball.
"Arsenal in race for new Ronaldo" was another of my favourites this morning. It refers to the now week-old nothing link between ourselves and Sporting Lisbon's Miguel Veloso. Spot the glaring issues with this one? Veloso is a central midfielder, whereas Ronaldo is a winger. Have we actually been inked with him? His agent (!) referred to an English club almost reaching his buy-out clause- must've been us then as we're clearly short of a central midfielder or two. Fuck off "all3points" you shitheap.
The final one is my favourite though. It would seem that some gooner somewhere has sprinkled some rumour regarding our floundering rivals' Adel Taarabt into the mix, hoping that the more moronic bunch (see above) would go for it. Sportingo, despite asserting a couple of times that they had severe doubts about the story (and of course, no quotes or primary evidence to speak of), promptly made it their leading piece for the morning. Fuck off Sportingo.
There was actually some proper news amidst the shit-peddling, with Jens Lehmann confirming his availability after his "flawless" game for Germany on saturday. A fully fit and fired-up Jens is a terrifically good goalkeeper- should be intriguing to see who's fielded on Saturday against Bolton.
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